tell white men they look too serious
tell them to smile
tell them if they don’t want to get made fun of they should have thought of that before they left their house
tell them girls will be girls anytime they complain about our behavior
yawn dramatically when they talk
walk away from them mid-sentence
anytime they come to a decision that concerns only them, make sure they’ve really thought about from all angles. Play devils advocate.
interrogate them on all their choices, demand answers! demand justifications!
take up the whole sidewalk and make them walk around you
explain obvious things to them. speak slowly and enunciate.
feign kindness and then yell at them if they don’t give you money in return. tell them they owe you.
trip them and then yell at them when they get mad about it
tell them how cute they are when they’re angry
tell them to stop being so emotional
tell them to learn how to take a joke
tell them they’re a kill joy